an evaluation

COP3 was the point in which I finally began to really understand how the COP modules can be really beneficial for me- but I think that is so much in understanding yourself and what you want to do as well as an understanding of the module.

The module has changed the way I engage with other peoples' art, and made me more considerate and questioning of how work is exhibited, and the benefits that can be given to artists.

Writing the essay came with its struggles. I enjoyed the research and discussing the topic with people, but struggled to get into the headspace to address this academically. This lead to some issues with putting it off, but largely it stayed on track. I was reluctant to stray away from journal articles as my sources, and whilst I strongly believe that my approach to the argument was rational and wouldn't be affected anyway, I do think that some notes from people within the Outsider Art industry would have made a stronger and nuanced responses. I did try for these, but could have tried harder. I think with a distraction of covering many small topics I may have become absent-minded when it came to triangulation. Maybe fewer stronger arguments would have been more effective.

I was surprised to find myself struggling with the visual project. As discussed further in the blog and the essay, I struggled to engage with the project until I had set myself more of a challenge/ a brief. The aim of the work was to work 'selfishly', and I just couldn't be self-indulgent without something else driving it- but that in itself is a personal motivator. Because of that initial struggle I often became complacent and didn't make as much work as I could have done.

Working privately lead to a new level of introspection in the work that really became apparent post-project when uploading the work to social media. It didn't feel the same, suggesting that the *spark* is more often about conversation about the HAPPENING. This work, made in the past and set to rest, developed its own confidence. That said, this work was made in a very particular set of circumstances, so this isn't necessarily a truthful observation.

The visuals that came from the work weren't expected. I had assumed I would take experiments from the tools, but found myself far more interested in form and figure. The work really pushed a desire to make 'intuitive' work, and how that the best, or more interesting results come from frequent repetition. The image, over time, would naturally hone itself.

That said, and tying with the essay, I am starting to evaluate WHY I am interested in things that look strange or bizarre or 'intuitive'. The idea of "authenticity" is troubling when applied to Outsider Artists, and at best confusing when applied to everyone else. That said, as drawing becomes bigger, and free-er and more dictated by the hand than the brain, it does feel a little "primal". I want to investigate this further, though maybe not in such an academic way.

The exhibition was a good starting point as to something I had not considered before, but I think more time and care could have been taken into investigating how these work, in the marketing of it etc. That said, my biggest priority at the time was understanding and working with the processes- and with that, I think that should have had even MORE time taken to it.

Ultimately, very honestly, I feel I have gained a lot personally from the project, in regards to my own practice and outlook. So whilst it doesn't feel like a complete project, and I think there is a lot I could and should have done, but really it feels like the beginning of a new process for me, so I  find it hard to look back on it with regrets.